9 Tips for First-Time Dads

Becoming a first-time dad sometimes feels like a rollercoaster—full of delight, twists, and a few hair-raising drops. It’s perfectly normal to question if you’re ready for the ride. You might worry about the life-altering impact of a baby or feel like an outsider to the special bond between your partner and child. Know that it’s OK to have these feelings. You’re in good company with all the first-time dads who have come before you. And with a little support and guidance, you’ll find your rhythm and discover just how great you can be at fatherhood.

9 tips for new dads

There’s no playbook on how to be a dad, but as you navigate this new terrain, here are some helpful first-time dad tips:

#1 Recognize it’s OK to not know everything…or even a lot of things

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. No one expects new dads to have all the answers. Maybe you’re unsure about changing diapers, figuring out how to soothe your crying baby, or installing the car seat. It’s OK to ask for help. Remember, everyone starts somewhere, and every experienced dad was once in your shoes. Embrace the learning and be kind to yourself on this new journey as a first-time father.

#2 Don’t worry about “being worried”

Worried? You’re in good company. You’d be hard pressed to find a first-time dad—or even an experienced dad—who doesn’t feel scared or anxious at times. It’s natural, and these feelings often drive us to be more attentive and responsible. If you weren’t worried about doing a good job, what would push you to take your child to the doctor when they seem sick or respond to their cries when something seems wrong? It’s important for first-time dads to remember worry and self-doubt aren’t only normal but adaptive emotions. That said, if first-time father anxiety is overwhelming or interfering with your ability to function, it’s important to reach out to a mental health professional. They can help you learn to manage these emotions more effectively.

#3 Make friends with imperfection

Embrace the chaos and know that it’s alright if things aren’t perfect. Parenthood is messy, and everyone makes mistakes along the way. So you burn dinner while juggling assembling the nursery glider and doing laundry? Instead of feeling like a failure, laugh it off and order takeout. These imperfect moments are part of the journey of becoming a father and they don’t define your ability as a new dad. 

#4 Set boundaries: the secret to the new-baby balancing act

It’s OK to say no to extra commitments in your professional and personal life so you can focus on fatherhood and your family’s needs. If a colleague asks you to take on an additional project, consider declining or asking for a later deadline so you can spend more time with your newborn or help your partner. Maybe a family member requests frequent visits or is overbearing with advice—explain that while you appreciate their support, you need space and time to adjust to your new role as a first-time father. Clear communication about boundaries manages expectations and helps you stay fully present and supportive as a new dad.

#5 Talk it out

In the whirlwind of becoming a father, communication between partners can fall by the wayside. You’re both stressed and trying to figure out this whole parenting thing. You may feel hesitant to bring up issues for fear it’ll make things worse, but it’s important to share openly because this can prevent minor issues from turning into major conflicts. For instance, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, you might say, “I’m feeling really stressed about balancing work and taking care of the baby. Can we take a look at how we share the nighttime feeding schedule?” 

#6 Refuel and recharge

You can’t be there for your child and partner if you’re running on empty. It’s important to take care of yourself as well. For example, if you’re feeling overwhelmed while the baby is crying, take deep breaths, feel the space around you, and center yourself. You could close your eyes and count to 10 slowly. This small break can help you recharge and provide the patience and clarity needed to tackle the challenges of fatherhood. 

#7 High-five even small victories 

Each step forward as a new dad, no matter how small, is progress in your parenting journey. If you successfully soothe your baby to sleep after a particularly fussy evening, change a diaper without any mishaps, or manage to prepare a meal while keeping the baby entertained, take a moment to recognize your achievement. Share the moment with your partner by saying, “I managed to calm the baby down tonight; it felt really good to see them finally drift off,” or “I changed the diaper without any issues today!” These small celebrations can boost your confidence and morale, help you connect with your partner, and remind you that you’re growing and learning in fatherhood. 

#8 Ask for help

Many first-time dads feel isolated in the new world of parenthood. You’re likely not seeing friends as much, and you may miss the relationship you had with your partner prior to having kids. It’s no wonder that nearly 3 in 10 men report depression between the first trimester and one year postpartum. It’s OK to seek support. Therapy or mental health coaching doesn’t mean you’ve failed but rather that you’re taking proactive steps to care for your mental health and be the best for your family.

#9 Give yourself a break

Fatherhood comes with a steep learning curve. It’s easy to be hard on yourself when things don’t go perfectly. However, self-compassion is crucial. It’s OK to make mistakes and learn from them. Acknowledge the effort you’re putting in. Take time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. When you’re kind to yourself, you show up for your family better, set a positive example for your child, and create a more nurturing environment for your family.

You’ve got this

Remember, all new dads face these challenges. Your feelings are a testament to your dedication and love. Reach out for support when you need it—you’re not alone, and you can do this.